Don’t You Ever Feel Like Giving Up?
She checked our groceries methodically as we told her, “Yeah we’re walking across the country.”
“Wow. Don’t you ever feel like giving up?” she asked. It’s a good question.
I’m known as the always chipper, adventurous and happy one on my walk. I’ve licked a salt flat, walked through a drive thru window, punched a bee by accident, and been excited even when there were no showers because it meant bathing in the sink! Wahoo!
But I’ll admit to you…sometimes I feel down. Maybe it was that mountain where I was searching for breath at 7500 feet. Maybe it was mile 15 when I still couldn’t see the van signaling the end of shift. Maybe my feet hurt and had blisters, and maybe my legs had a Charlie horse and shin splints.
And occasionally, I think to myself about how crazy this all is. Here I am, getting up at o’dark thirty, walking long distances all day, and then stuffing myself in a 28 foot RV with eight other people to sleep in a tiny space for a few hours. Rinse, lather, repeat.
So, yes. Sometimes I do feel like giving up. Yet even here, there is beauty. Even here there is hope.
It’s in those moments where the voice says, “Give up,” that I search for strength. I remember the people we meet at parishes, the people that wave “hi” on the road, the people in my life who I am offering this suffering for. Most importantly, I remember the unborn and their mothers and fathers.
It’s in those moments that I lean on Mama Mary. I begin another rosary and ask her to walk with me and support me. I especially love the second Joyful mystery of the Visitation, since “Mary arose and went in haste into the hill country…” (Luke 1:39). She would have made a great Crossroader. 😀
It’s in those moments that I search my heart for the One who loves me most. The dear Lord does not abandon His children. I’ll call up some encouraging verses in my mind (Philippians 4:13 and Romans 8:39 especially), or offer up a silent prayer through gritted teeth and heavy breath.
So I lean on the strength that’s greater than me. My toes keep gripping the earth. My feet keep walking. But somehow, my steps feel lighter.
Central Walk, 2014