While the title may be a bit odd and seemingly off topic, to be frank, I had no idea what to write here. It wasn’t until I was listening to music and the song “Geronimo” came on that I realized what I would write about. So, here we go, Geronimo.
As week three has come to a close and we have just finished day two of week four, I write to you exhausted, but in a way, even more energized for the weeks to come. While the blisters may be something Darth Vader himself would be appalled at, they give me motivation to keep walking. I am routinely reminded of my purpose when I run into people like Fr. Haffey, Anisa, and countless others who go out of their way to welcome myself and the other walkers. Anisa in particular is an elderly woman who came and prayed with all of us outside of the Planned Parenthood in Billings, MT. Side note- Anisa also informed us that the Planned Parenthood has been sold, and will be closing down in July!! Praise God, he is so, so good.
To explain the title, this week has taught me more than ever to rely totally, fully, and completely on God. I knew coming into this trip that I would need to relinquish much of the control that my micro-managing self yearns for. While this has been much easier than I thought, I still struggled with putting all of my faith and trust 100% in God. In retrospect, it seems so easy to give myself totally to Him, but things are much easier said than done. However, week 3 in particular has taught me to trust in him with all my heart. I have come to develop such a greater appreciation for the quote “lean not on your own understanding”. Coming into Crossroads, we were told not to ask many questions, that we would be told details when need be. At first thought, I pictured myself struggling with this immensely. To my surprise, it has not been that difficult to relinquish the control that I lov(ed) oh so much. Maybe it was the walking, or maybe it was the countless prayers we pray while walking. No matter the cause, I found myself totally, and willingly giving all control over to God, and quite literally saying “Geronimo”. I can so clearly see that there is no hope in worrying, and there is no sense in stress. If we have faith, we have hope; and if we have hope, we have faith. Worrying / stressing over things we cannot control is pointless, and trying to plan out our lives is equally as ludicrous. Hopefully you all are not as stubborn as I am, and hopefully you will find a way to put all your trust in God in an easier way than I did. It took me 19 years, countless hours of stress and worry, and walking across 3 states to realize that faith is the ultimate stress reliever. It is so easy to think to ourselves “why do I worry, I know God has my back”, then to turn around 5 minutes later and continue to bite our nails. While I am sure I will still struggle with this in the future, I find immense comfort in knowing that God is eternally present, and he is always with me. There is so much truth in the saying: “there is freedom in surrender”. Once we swallow our pride and acknowledge the extremely simple, almost humorous fact that the one who created our entire being has total control, we will truly be free. Freedom is trusting in God.
So thank you, Crossroads, for allowing me to finally say “geronimo”.
Gracie- Northern Walk 2016